Why? I have been asked several times and people may be wondering so I am going to explain.
First of all I don’t see my faith as a religion because it’s far from it, my faith is a relationship with God, a relationship like I have with my family and animals but there’s something extra which is difficult to explain but God is someone who is with me every second of every day.
People often ask me do I want a boyfriend and yes I do but it’s not something I need because I have everything I need and I don’t ever feel lonely.
As a lot of you already know I was brought up by mum and dad who are Christians and that has a big part to play but I had to come to a point where I made my own decision to give my life to God and that came when I was 15. At that time I was in a wheelchair and I remember asking mum why God was testing me, and she said it isn’t God but he won’t let you be tested beyond what you can bear, and he will always provide a way out. Since then I knew he existed and that I wanted to give my life to him, and that was the year I got baptised.
Then a few years later my eyesight deteriorated as it had slowly over the years but I didn’t realise it was that bad until the hospital told me I could be registered blind so it was difficult to hear but I knew with God I could deal with this.
It became even more apparent that God was there when I was asked to go with the charity through the roof to Moldova to tell my story about living with a disability and believing in God. I remember clearly on New Year’s Day at midnight 2012 I was lying in bed and I totally began to panic because I was going on my own with people I hadn’t met yet even though I would get the chance to meet them I was scared, I was shaking and getting really upset and I was alone in my bed with no one to talk to so all I could do was pray and I prayed “God I really don’t want to do this but if you want me to do this, please give me peace and reassurance” and since the moment my prayer ended everything stopped and fear left me, I stopped shaking and I knew I was meant to go. People also asked me in church what difference will you make in a week, I said I don’t know but I will find out. I went in the February of 2012 and met some amazing people and shared my story and when I got back home I received an email which had been received by one of the Team who came with us to Moldova and it said:
“I want to tell you something important as a result of the seminar from 15 February. Last week 2 young with visual disabilities who attended the training told me the following:
They were very delighted of the testimony made by Lina about her personal experience living in love with the God and this was an encouragement to change things in their own life. They also told me that they want very much to become as Lina. I think through this testimony the God worked at the hearts of these young.
I think brothers that just for the testimonies of these 2 young people, the visit of the team from England was not vain. I pray to the God to help me talk them how much God loves them as He loves Lina and that He can change things in the most wonderful way.”
God had worked through me to inspire 2 young people’s lives and that was his reason for sending me and I’m so glad I went.
The answer to why is I know he’s there and I know to him I am special, also because Jesus died for my sins and the sins of the world, he suffered so much more than any of us ever do or will and he understands the pain, the emotions, the feeling of loneliness and he gives me hope that one day I will be free and there will be no more pain, sadness, suffering, tears because of Jesus and the ultimate sacrifice he endured because of his love for us.
Of course life is sometimes a struggle but in the bible it does say the path won’t always be straight and their will be tough times, I’ve had them and without my faith I don’t know how I would have coped or dealt with the situations I have been through.
Like my friend says he knit us together in our mother’s womb, babies are total miracles and he had a plan and knew everything about us before we were even born. Yes hospitals with me anyway made a mistake but God knew that was going to happen and why didn’t he stop it, I don’t know but if we were all the same wouldn’t it be boring? We are all different, unique but we all have a purpose on this earth, things happen, people cross paths and all for a reason, for God’s plan for our lives and for his glory.
Before I moved to Devon I wanted to stay in Milton Keynes because I had lived there a long time, I had made friends who I knew would take care of me, I had a job and was comfortable. People would ask me why would you move to where you have nothing and I didn’t know at the time and was really torn. I went for countless job interviews always getting a no and the frustration got to me and I continued to pray for him to make it clear what he wanted me to do and I remember saying if you want me to move I need a job and I began to trust him that he would provide, so however heartbreaking it was I thought I can always return if I don’t like it.
I went on my holiday and on the day I returned in the car I received an email from my current employer inviting me for interview on 20th April 2016. I went to the interview, did my best but because I didn’t have experience in that field I didn’t think there was any hope of getting it and I had no idea whether it had gone well or not but that afternoon I had an unknown number ring which I didn’t answer so they rang again the next morning to tell me I got the job and I burst into tears, I suddenly knew that this was meant to be and God had shown me that I’d made the right decision and it has made me trust God more, he made that happen for me I have no doubt. Everything else like making friends, volunteer work etc has all fallen into place since then and I’m so glad I listened because I’m living in a beautiful location with a totally different life feeling fortunate to be so close to the sea, having made some more close and lifelong friends and having a job where the people are so accepting, open minded and friendly and in wonderful grounds which is perfect for Pete.
We all have a choice and I have made the decision to believe because I know he exists and my life has been so much easier knowing I’ve been made for a purpose and that there is hope for the future.
My friend said she wouldn’t be healed if she had the opportunity because she knows God created her just as he had planned and I don’t think I’d want it either unless it is what God wants for me, I believe it has made me a better person and I wouldn’t be me without my disabilities.
I’ve seen a miracle of a friend making a miraculous recovery after a stroke and all these things have proven to me God exists.
We must always think of the positives in life and that there is always someone worse off, if we can make the world a better a place by helping others and if we can inspire just one person to do whatever they have been inspired to do by us then that should be celebrated.
And lastly life changes, people change, situations change but God never changes and he never fails and that gives me comfort that when everything else around you leave or changes, God is always there and never changing.
That is why 🙂